A LONG AND HOPEFULLY INTERESTING STORY ABOUT MY LIFE AT THE MOMENT (10/14/05)

I am currently going through a very tough time in finding out that my wife of almost 12 years had married me for my papers in order to become a citizen of the USA. Now that I am going through a divorce my brother has told me of a time before we were married that she had mentioned this to his current wife ("I am marrying him for his papers") but never mentioned it due to the fact that she was pregnant with our child. I don't regret having our 2 wonderful children from this marriage and Thank God I didn't know about her desires.

My marriage, I can consider as half and half. She was very abusive verbally and I endured it as it was not constant and started walking away when she wanted to fight (verbally). She is very egotistical and I have now found out that she had been cheating throughout our entire marriage! Phone records are great to keep and then find out constant calls when your at work to male friends at odd hours (early in the morning once you've left the house and late at night when your working late). Once she started working, her hours got later and later and since she was on salary, there was no additional income that should have been coming in from her checks to verify if she was truly at work. Even that wouldn't have helped too much as several of her affairs were WITH co-workers at work.

I had worked for the first 7 years of our marriage until all our kids were of school age thus allowing her to have affairs without me knowing. Once she started working it took me a while to start suspecting her with her odd late hours and VERY late "business dinners" that she never invited me to as I had invited her while I was a Purchasing Agent or Manager. Two years ago (2003) she came to me to say she was pregnant and even though I had had a vasectony 9 years earlier I STUPIDLY remembered what the doctor had told me at that time..."Your vasectomy could be reversed within the first 7 years". I DUMBLY remembered it that way and forgot the most important part because I had NO CLUE that my wife was capable of doing what she did (one never suspects until they start leaving just one clue too many. I had started to suspect her but then your heart refuses to validate your suspicions. Well, the vasectomy COULD be reversed IF YOU WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN AGAIN, but is not 100% within the first 7 years (I had forgotten that part). A vasectomy doesn't reverse itself. I consider myself very intelligent and have a genius IQ but this simple statement I feel was jumbled up in my mind to give my wife the benefit of the doubt or something. Who knows? We took a home pregnancy test and found out it was positive. As soon as I told her of the results she immediately said, "I am going to get an abortion". Without consulting me or talking about it. I just figured that she, like me, had decided that we didn't want anymore children (5 in total - 2 from my first marriage - 1 from her first boyfriend and 2 of our own). I agreed with her even though I had always been against abortions except for rapes or certain situations.

She had the abortion and the doctor gave her a 1 months supply of birth control pills with a prescription for birth control. After the second month she failed to ask me to buy her another month of pills and I started to wondered why she never mentioned what other type of birth control we were going to use. Two months went by and I had always mentioned at that moment (you know) to her if it was okay and she would always reply, "Yes". That did it! The only way she would allow that would be if she KNEW I wasn't able to get her pregnant! I immediately told my brother and 2 older children that I was going to get a Divorce because of what I had suspected and was about 90% sure the baby wasn't mine. I told them I was going to get tested to make sure I was still sterile shortly. I then told them that it seemed as I might had made a mistake because my plan was to refinance our house and remove $100,000.00 of the over $200,000.00 we had in equity. This way I would not have to worry about a nasty divorce over the house. I was willing to let her raise the kids and I would have visitation rights. She could sell the house or keep it, it didn'y matter as I would have my part of it.

Unfortunately 2 weeks before we were to refinance the house I was put through the ringer! My step-daughter (16) was repeatedly knocking on the door for some hair products in my bedroom and even though I had told her I would leave them by her door, as I always would do, she continued to knock on the door and even tried to open it (it was locked because my wife and I were engaged in activities). She finally went away but it was too late as my wife was not satisfied and had gotten mad at me for speaking to my step-daughter while she was knocking on the door and asking for her hair products that she was not going to be using until the following morning. Well, needless to say I made A BIG MISTAKE and took out my anger out on my step-daughter! I went to her room and asked her why she had been constantly knocking on my door for something she didn't need until the morning? The conversation changed and now she had started to lie to me. I had only struck her ONCE before by slapping her on the face and did so for the second time in my life that night. I asked her to please not continue to lie to me and even so, she continued and I must have slapped her about 3 times in each cheek before she admitted to the truth and that she had lied to me. My wife came in once I was finished and just talking to my step-daughter about the virtues of lying. My wife walked towards our bedroom and instead of going to her side of the bed she went to my side and picked up the phone. when I saw she dialed 911 I immediately removed the phone line from the wall and when she went to get by me to get her cell phone she grabbed my hand and dug her nails into it. I can't tell you how I regret what happened next...

After having all the pent of feelings of what she was doing to me I grabbed her neck with my hand and told her that if she called the police I would divorce her. I stepped aside and she took her cell phone and proceeded to call the police. I left the house but was stopped by the police and sent to jail without collecting my $200 (lol) even though she had initiated the contact. I was charged with 2 counts of misdeameaner (non-harful contact). I can laugh now but it wasn't so funny then! I spent 2 nights before my daughter could bail me out. I decided not to return home and stay at my office of the business I own. I would, during the day while the kids were in school and my soon-to-be-ex was at work, go home to get my personal belongings. She got a temporary restraining order but it was worthless as I had not been served with the order yet. She initially refused to talk with me but eventually would talk for short spurts but would say nothing when I questioned her about getting a divorce. Well, being STUPID AGAIN I started taping her by putting a Voice activated recorder behind the bed. I learned a LOT of information about her plans to not get back together as I had suspected but didn't know why she dind't want to talk about it. BECAUSE I would be frustrated and when the Temporary injunction was served on me 2 weeks later at the hearing she would be able to call police when I called to talk to her and report it as a violation of the restraining order. Yes, STUPID is not the word for my calling or continuing to get personal items I still had at the house. I let my heart lead my body instead of thinking with my mind and doing it correctly.

I decided to call the police to escort me to the house to get the rest of my personal items as the restraining order specified. The police met me 3 blocks away and I told them I wanted to get my car and other items in the house. What a laugh, they saw my wife had complained 4 times about violating the restraining order with phone calls and I was arrested. This time I spent 3 nights in jail before my daughter could bail me out. I was released from jail but not without having an ankle bracelet put on (just like Martha Stewart). I am allowed to go to work without any deviations to stores for gum, NOTHING. Since I am living at work but need to travel I get to go out to addresses I have provided (bank, gas station, drug store for medicine (I'm Diabetic), Fedex to drop off packages - anywhere that is on list I provided with addresses. I am on GPS, so any deviations can be considered a violation, and believe me, I've learned my lesson from what can happen if you violate a rule (however small it might seem to oneself at the moment). I face up to 10 years in prison for these offenses! 2 counts of Felony Aggravated Staulking!

NOW IT'S MY TURN! I am currently bombarding her court papers such as Alimony (pre-divorce alimony - Yes, you can do that in Florida Family Law - Business, luckily is slow and she makes 4 times more than I do :), Beings that we just barely were paying our bils being house rich but bank poor this works to my favor), Motion for Modification of Injunction (she'll LOVE that one), Motion for Testimony of Minor Children, Verified Motion for Temporary Injunction to Prevent Removal of Minor Children and/or Denial of Passport Services. there are a few more to follow. Luckily I am filing these myself as it would cost a small fortune if it weren't for that!

1/6/06 Update: Well on December 19, 2005 I went to court to answer the 2 counts of Domestic Violence and THANK GOD that the jury didn't believe either my wife or step-daughter! They lied so much when they were on the witness stand that they made it easy for the jury to find me "Not Guilty" on both counts! No marks on the photos taken by the Police that night yet they are claiming I hit my step-daughter so hard she fell to the floor and my wife said that I choked her so hard she couldn't breathe for over 2 seconds and even gave a convincing act and cried during her statement but how rapidly she turned off the faucet to answer another question from my Public defender! If you've got the money, HIRE A REGULAR LAWYER! Public Defenders DO NOT have the time to review your case as their case load is so heavy they barely know you if they hear your name! "Oh yeah, I think I am the Public defender for his case", is commonly heard!

Next, my upcoming Felony trial for...? What did I do again to deserve 10 years in jail? Well, 5 years now. The state has dropped 1 of the staulking charges. wish me luck in court, again! ;)

1/12/06 - My Public Defender actually asked for a Continuance against MY WISHES! This really sucks! TWO more months of house arrest!

1/26/06 - Well, now my soon to be ex has realized that she could possibly lose the house AND kids so she has had a Real Estate agent contact me in regards to selling the house and getting equal shares! Ha! No, I won't agree to sell the house and give her half! After being on house arrest for almost 4 monthe now ans not being able to see my kids for over 5 months now! No Way Jose, she has to pay! I've since sued her for taking our Tax return check and keeping all of it! Suing for getting a check from FEMA (our house got hit by Wilma Hurricane) and not doing any repairs! Now since December she has stopped paying for the house and it probably will go into foreclosure soon! That's another problem but I can handle it! She might start paying for the house again after she realizes it would not be to her benefit to stop paying for it as far as the court is concerned! Not good to not pay for your kids housing when your the one who put the restraining order on their father and was willing to see him go to jail for 12 years. My trial should be sometime at the end of March so look for updates early February or Late March. It will be her turn to realize how many mistakes she had in her plan. She did not have a nice cheerful outlook when I saw her in court in November. She looked really really sad and beat up! Maybe she'll realize like my first wife who never remarried and still talks bad about me (several doctors say that is actually a sign that she still loves me! - wow hard to believe but true!) that she should have been content with what she had and you never know what you have until you lose it! Let me see, what did she have? A husband who supported her for 7 years and brought her a nice house in less than 3 years. A husband who cooks, helps kids with homework, teaches them how to cook, disciplines them, plays with them and there she is making the money, coming home late and fooling around with several men at the same time! To make it worse...listen to this...I've read several books on cheating spouses and they all say they do it due to something lacking in marriage. Okay, so I wasn't providing something right? Well, on several of her "nights out" she would come home horny and jump on me! what does that tell you? One of her men wasn't satisfying her like I was! I always knew it wasn't that department she was not happy in. I aim to please! I know it was the communication Dept. I could not give her because she would always start complaining about something instead of asking nicely. Yes, I could have avoided confrontations but I didn't know any better then. I now know not to fight, just walk away and let them learn to start conversations the right way. More to come...

Early February I received a call from a Real Estate Agent representing her and now she is willing to take half the house which is worht over 500K now. She has hired a lawyer now for the divorce and her lawyer wants to split the house also?! She could have had over 300K in equity had she taken my initial offer! Good for me. gos works in myterious ways! Thank you God for not letting her accept my offer. Hum, is my soon-to-be-ex starting to lose? We'll see!

3/2/2006 - I RECEIVED A CALL FROM MY PRE-TRIAL OFFICER ON 3/1/06 SAYING SHE HAD CALLED THE STATE ATTORNEY TO SAY I WAS BY THE HOUSE IN DECEMBER. WHAT AN IDIOT (YEAH, RIGHT, WHILE ON A GPS MONITORED UNIT WHERE THEY KNOW MY EVERY MOVE!). I TOLD HER IT WAS A STUPID LIE AND HOW CAN SHE GET AWAY WITH IT? I'M SURE THE OFFICER WILL BE CALLING MY WIFE TO TELL HER A FEW THINGS! STAY TUNED - COURT DATE NEXT WEEK FOR CHILD VISITATION RIGHTS TO BE RESTORED AND END OF MONTH TRIAL DATE - YES, FINALLY IT WILL BE OVER FOR ME AND JUST STARTING FOR HER!

3/25/2006 - Attorney for State asked for Continuance and so another 2 months on GPS UNIT. Just when I starded dating again and met a woman I really thought was truly honest. I was so upset after leaving court that I told her that I was very upset with what just happened and told her my situation. yes,I am too honest sometimes as I knew it would be detrimental to our continueing to date but also did not want to have her bound by my house arrest. You can guess what happened..."We could be friends for now." Not in a good mood these days! Wife won this round... but I do have something up my sleeve that came through the mail and if it works out I will get the best attorney for both my Criminal and Divorce cases! GOD is Good and will eventually carry me out from this tremendous hole I have been in for the past 7½ months. I am starting to understand why estranged husbands kill their mother-in-laws, wife and eventually the kids also... their wife pushes them to the breaking point with all their bulls... and figure they just might as well end it all and not have the children suffer through not having a mother and their father a killer and kill them too. Not that I would do something like that but it just has allowed me to be open enough to realize that I have been pushed to my breakiing point where I just don't care what happens to me. I even had considered going to jail for 1 year and 1 day which was offered to me in January and was within seconds of calling my public defender jerk to tell him I would be willing to be taken to jail immediately. That is the breaking point - When you just don't care what happens and if it wasn't for the thought that if I did allow myself to plead my case and go to jail I would not see my kids and thus allow my wife to continue to brain wash them. Had it not been for the kids I would be in jail right now and would have lost my business http://www.CandleFactoryCo.com I could see how a negative inclined person would take even more drastic measures! Women and Men out there who abuse their children by speaking ill of the other parent must remember one thing - GOD will make you suffer for it! Good Luck as I will be praying for your kids and not for you!

I will update my profile and keep you informed! If you got this far, please send me an e-mail either through my website www.CandleFactoryCo.com or my e-mail: CandleFactoryCo@CandleFactoryCo.com

I REALLY NEED SUPPORT AND RESPONSES. SHOULD I RIGHT A BOOK? YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WENT THROUGH MY FIRST MARRIAGE! I WILL ONLY SAY IT INVOLVED MY WIFE KIDNAPPING MY 2 DAUGHTERS AND TAKING THEM TO COLOMBIA AND NOT SEEING THEM FOR 9 YEARS! I GOT THEM BACK AND ARE NOW DOING GREAT IN COLLEGE HERE IN FLORIDA. BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY! SOMEHOW, ALWAYS AT THE END OF THE MARRIAGE IS WHEN IT GOES WRONG BUT MY CONSULATION HAS BEEN THAT MY FIRST WIFE NEVER RE-MARRIED DUE TO HER REGRET OF HAVING LEFT ME. GOD HAS HIS WAYS - I DID GET MY DAUGHTERS BACK BUT UNFORTUNATELY THEY WERE DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR AND WILL PROBABLY SUFFER THE SAME FATE WITH THEIR PARTNERS. SAD BUT TRUE...