What does it mean when someone stops saying 'I love you' and will not spend the night but still wants to see you?

I agree with the take of the comments below: that something else is going on and you need to resolve it. If you are in a loving relationship, you should have the entire attention of the other person--you deserve nothing less. When this happened to me, it turned out he was trying to decide whether to go back to an old girlfriend who had re-contacted him. If I had not finally asked, it could have hung on for a few more months and this saved me a lot of pain in the long run.

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It means you're accepting those terms of the relationship. If you're not ok with a relationship like that, don't put up with it.

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Go to poetry.com there you will find the poem I wrote for my wife when we were dating. It is called "My Best Friend" by Jonathan Huling. If he is not your best friend and you are not his best friend, you are not in love and should not be intimate. Period....

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I'm going through the same with my boyfriend but iv recently found out that he's slept with someone else.he's now telling me that he's staying at a female friends but there's nothing in it they're just mates. I still have my doubt but only time will tell.

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(In reply to the one above) Huh? You think time will tell...? And it will, while you wait for him. It doesn't mean that the situation is ever going to change in your favor.

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Maybe by your actions the person just assumed that everything was ok. As it is said, "actions speak louder than words", and guys always seem to misinterpret our actions as girls. They think we are ashamed to voice out our feelings when it comes to love related issues. All you need to do is show him how serious you are and that you mean what you say and say what you mean. WE have to stand up for ourselves. LET YOUR NO BE NO and YES BE YES.

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WHERE IS HE SPENDING THE NIGHT? SOMETHING IS UP. ASK HIM A DIRECT QUESTION. IF YOU CAN BE INTIMATE WITH HIM BY HAVING SEX, YOU SHOULD BE CLOSE ENOUGH TO HIM TO ASK DIRECT QUESTIONS AND GET DIRECT ANSWERS. I HATE TO SAY IT BUT HE IS PROBABLY SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "SEE ME"? SOME GUYS JUST CAN NOT CUT OFF A SURE THING. (I MEAN SEX AS A SURE THING, NOT THE RELATIONSHIP).

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It could mean that he is not as attached to you as he used to be. If you want, you can try to get the spark back by being more mysterious. Before that, I would ask him straight out why he's acting like that. But if he doesn't give you a straight answer, you can either make him want you more by being more mysterious or you can move on to some other guy. But whatever you do, don't get clingy!!

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Odds are it means someone thinks of you as nothing more than convenient sex.

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I don't wish to be negative but realistic. He probably likes your company rather than feeling any affection to you. He cares, he loves you, but perhaps differently than you feel for him. Its up to you to get tough and find out how he really feels about you. Have it stated out straight. You have to make an effort on finding out by playing little tricks on him. Talking out of experience.

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It can mean that he's just not that into you anymore. I mean if he was really into you he would say those things or at least express it. You can just be a fall back sexual partner or he can be afraid to let you go. Just because he is not that into you doesn't mean he wants you gone completely. You're like a safety net. I recommend that you tell him that you want to see other people, you don't have to break up completely. If you guys were meant to be together he will do something to change the status of your newly formed open relationship. If he doesn't at least you get to have fun and meet other people, so you don't feel like you've wasted your time.

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Well you should look at things, lets put them in perspective. How long were you dating? How long was it into the relationship before you started sleeping together? And what exactly does "seeing" mean? Ok here we go... Lets say you were dating a year. And you started spending the night relatively soon. He starts saying " I Love you" and you get the girly feelings.. we all do.. and the nights are great, things seem fine, life is good. Then HALT, he doesn't say I love you anymore :( And is not spending the night.. well there are several things that might have happened here. First he could have gotten spooked. Yeah, he could really like you, (unlikely) but he could. The " I love you" could have scared him, or the sexual playing house, or all of the above. However...that isn't the road my instincts are taking me.. he still wants to see you.. Is that the words that have come out of his mouth? Or do you guys meet for casual flings? Or he just won't spend the NIGHT at your house? Or he does still see you as a friend, doesn't reach out to touch you, hold your hand, touch your wrist, the small of your back, the shoulder, common touchy places? When you are in his company, does he talk to you in that voice that catches your attention, or is it that " hey how you doing" voice? The one that everyone gets? The voice in your gut will tell you what's up. Listen to your instincts, they are aware of far more then your naked eyes are seeing. They are the voices that scream RED FLAG! HEY THAT ISN'T RIGHT, DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM, HE DOESN'T REALLY LIKE YOU, OR YEAH THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. It's a gut thing. You know what's going on... you are looking for validation. Heart says this, Head says this... body says this, it is all confusing, but when you can get all that inline and keep your integrity too... WOO HOOO your getting somewhere. Listen to your gut.

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I need a lot more information to really answer this question. If the person just had a moral conversion or something, that could explain why they're not spending the night. You might ask them if they recently learned something in church...

It also depends on what you're looking for in a relationship. If you're in your late 20's and want to get married, this may be a bad sign that they stopped saying "I love you." Either because they are chicken to say it (not good for a mature person) or they don't love you anymore (not good enough for you). If you're much younger, they might just be unsure about what love is and need time to figure that out, nothing personal to you.

Third, if the person is freaked out about saying "I love you," why? Is this because they don't love you? Said it too soon the first time and realized they need to cool it until they know they mean it? Did you not say it back so they're not wanting to put it out there? Or are they just afraid to say it, and if so, why aren't they mature enough to tell you what you need to hear?

BOTTOM LINE - You know this person better than any of us do. Ask them! And whatever they say, if it's hard to hear - believe it!!

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Something very important to that person is not right.

Or, they have some physical problem they do not want you to discover. Like a STD. Or,maybe they wet the bed. Or maybe they are uncomfortable sleeping with you and someone else.

Obviously, the only way you will know is to ask them.

First answer by Hilda Aphindile Ntobongwana. Last edit by Simplemary. Contributor trust: 807 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 244 [recommend question]